Intramuros - Fort Santiago

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The entrance to Fort Santiago proper

The plants through the cracks. 

The River

Looks like a secret door

A window at Rizaliana Furniture exhibit

Stone Water Filter owned by the Rizal family

A peek inside the dungeon

The way to the dungeons

The Dungeons for the prisoners

Intramuros - Plaza San Luis Complex

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The sidewalk

Intramuros - Barbara's The Coffee Shop

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Old Gramophone

Dragon Noodle Center

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Too much water on rice will give you lugaw (porridge), one of the most common and cheapest foods that Filipinos love. You can find it anywhere; in restaurants, eateries, noodle place, on side streets, even on rolling carts. It’s the one we feed on the sick, the one shared on feeding programs, the one we like to eat during rainy days, and the one most likely to be ordered when eating in karinderya. Indeed, this creamy, rice-based delicacy is part of the Pinoy culture and is considered to be one of the best things that we inherited from the Chinese people.   

One Saturday, I suddenly found myself craving for one after watching my favorite show, Kapuso Mo Jessica Soho. They made a whole segment on the best lugaw in town, carefully chosen by spot.ph. There’s the most expensive one, made with Jasmine rice, which is being served in a hotel, there’s the unlimited lugaw in Pampanga, there’s one called lugaw sa tugak, also in Pampanga which is made with frog, and the one declared as the best of them all, the halo-halo lugaw of Dragon Noodle Center in Malate. After the show I knew I had to get a taste of one of those.

Immediately I called up my friends and asked them to join me. Of course we picked the one that landed on the top spot, the Dragon Noodle Center. It is located along M.H. Del Pilar, near the corner of Kalaw.

There was nothing special about the ambiance but it was sure busy. It tells me that the food that they offer must be really good. Most of the seats were already taken so we felt lucky to find an unoccupied table at the far end of the room.

There were only few waitresses in the house and it took a while before any of them got to our table. When finally we were able to place our order, we had to wait for our food for like 20 minutes. It’s the only thing that I hate about the place, the waitresses looked harried and always in haste but it took them forever to serve our food.

By the time we had food on our table we were already starving. What saved the whole experience would be the food itself. The tausi chicken feet (Php 60) and the fried dumpling (P110) won the hearts of my friends. And the halo-halo lugaw (Php 95) was a total winner. It tasted as good as it looked. The porridge is smooth and the meat chunks toppings made every spoonful worth savoring. I gotta say it was worth every penny.

Unfortunately though I got stuffed real quick, well that’s just one of the things about me, I get full easily. But none of the lugaw was put to waste because my best friend, who happens to be a porridge lover didn’t mind helping me finish my bowl.

The verdict, Dragon Noodle Center does have one of the best tasting lugaw in town. But don’t take my word for it. You should find out for yourself (and I’m pretty sure you’d agree with me).  


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Dragon Noodle Center
1037 M.H. Del Pilar St.
Malate, Manila
Tel no.: 525-1563
Business Hours: Monday - Sunday 6:00 a.m. - 2:00 a.m.

         

Trip to Intramuros

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Eight years ago, I studied BS Journalism at Lyceum of the Philippines University, one of the schools that can be found inside the Walled City, Intramuros. I’d always found it amazing that through the years, Intramuros managed to remain untouched by modernization. The walls that the city has been known for have been well-preserved, so were the old buildings like the Palacio Del Gobernador. To maintain the Spanish era theme, the guards that were scattered about the place wear uniforms reminiscent of the guardia civil. Even present-day establishments like restaurants, coffee shops, souvenir item stores made an effort to look like they too have been built in the Spanish era. 

This time I was able to go around the place like a real tourist. My friends and I started the day via lunch at Barbara’s The Coffee Shop (for my review of the place click here) found inside the Plaza San Luis Complex. As we waited for our order to be served we had fun checking out its neighbor, the The Papier Tole Shop, a small store that sells trinkets, decors, and souvenir items at a fairly cheap price. Most of the products were made of recycled paper like bracelets, book mark, wallet, coaster, fan, secret book, rosary, etc. There are also other items like post cards, dolls, key chains, cellphone charms, soaps, notebooks, coin purses, among others.

After having our lunch, we decided to check the rest of the plaza that is home to the Casa Manila. It felt a lot like going back in time. We walked through the corridors, saw old carriages, and noticed that the grounds and the walls were made of adobe stones. We wanted to check out the Casa Manila Museum but decided against it when we found out cameras are not allowed. Now this is what I don’t get about most of the museums in this country. Why in the world are they not allowing visitors to take pictures? I think this rule hurts the experience and is probably one of the reasons why many Pinoys are not too fond of galleries and exhibits. 

Anyway, after the plaza we went across the street, to visit San Agustin Church. The church was built in 1570 by the Spaniards. I’m no expert on architectural design so I made a little research. I learned that the façade has a touch of Baroque style characterized by the intricate carvings on its huge wooden doors and carved niche between the columns. It also has a museum with P100 entrance fee. Unfortunately just like Casa Manila, they don’t allow picture taking inside so we no longer bothered and moved on to our next subject, the much beautiful Manila Cathedral.

Rumor has it that it is bad luck to hold your wedding at Manila Cathedral. They say that many couples who wed there end up separating. I’m not sure where did it come from or if there is any truth to it. All I know is that Manila Cathedral is the most beautiful church I’ve ever seen. Everything about is screams gothic and I so loved it. Inside there are seven (7) chapels that also function as mini galleries.  

By the time we left Manila Cathedral the sun was at its highest. There, under the scorching heat of the sun we began our walk to our ultimate destination, the Fort Santiago. It was built by the Spaniards as a defense fortress in 1571. Aside from its tall walls and mysterious dungeons, Fort Santiago is also famous for being the last place where the Philippine National hero, Dr. Jose Rizal was detained before his unfortunate execution in 1896.   

Entrance fee for adults is P75 and P50 for students (with valid ID). When we got inside the first place that we visited was the Shrine of Our Lady of Guadalupe. It is quite small with only the windows for its source of light. Two old nuns were attending it and they were very gracious to us. We stayed for a moment to light a candle and to say our prayers.


Next stop; Rizal Shrine. It houses the memorabilia of Rizal like old photographs, medicinal equipment, small sculptures, the clothes that he used to wear, among others. We also saw his old cell but didn’t get to enter it. For some reason is off-limits to the visitors. The last part of the shrine is the Galeriya sa Beranda where Rizal’s last poem “Mi Ultimo Adios” (My Last Farewell) is on display.

As usual it was “no camera allowed” in Rizal Shrine, not so with Rizaliana. It is a small gallery of the furniture of the Rizal family like a four-poster bed, dining set, sala set, cabinets, etc. It has a separate entrance fee of P10.

Last but not the least, the prison dungeons where over 600 Americans and Filipinos were imprisoned and killed by the Japanese in 1945. They looked beautiful in a creepy kind of way, if you know what I mean. It is hard to imagine that many lives were wasted in those cells that are actually located below high tide level.  

And then the tour was over. I have almost forgotten how much I loved the place, the one that was witness to four years of self-destruction, frizzy hair days, and my seemingly campaign for all-black fashion. A place made beautiful by its cobble stones, tall walls, dungeons, and old Spanish architectures. I can’t believe it’s already been 8 years since I’d left the place. I realized that its beauty has been lost in my recollection. All of a sudden, I wanted so much to remember. My return has been met by a great wave of nostalgia. It felt so nice to be able to revisit this place that has always owned a special spot in my heart.  

              

PSG's Tree Planting at Ipo Watershed

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According to a Chines proverb there are 3 ways to become immortal: Father a son, Plant, a tree, and Write a book. A month before I turned 28 I have taken one step towards immortality, by planting, for the first time in my life, a tree. 


I joined the much-awaited tree planting activity of the Presidential Security Group (PSG) on July 31, 2010 at Ipo Watershed Barangay San Mateo, Norzagaray, Bulacan. It was organized by our office, OG7 in support of the Civil-Military Operations' (CMO) efforts of the PSG Command. Over 62 PSG personnel signed up to make the climb. Yes, this was not your ordinary tree-planting activity, this one entailed conquering the mountain of Ipo.

Prior to our climb we received a pep talk from Ms. Julie Mustapha, Community Development Officer IV, Special Concerns Office of the Department of Environment and Natural Resource (DENR). She told us where we will be going and what we should and not be doing. She emphasized the importance of taking out the seedlings from the plastic bag before planting. This is to allow the roots to spread out underneath the soil so it would stand firm on the ground. She also reminded us not to leave the plastic bags about and to put it inside the trash bags that the DENR guides were carrying. We were given big spoons made of bamboo to use as shovels. Moments later we proceeded to make the climb.     

Climbing the mountain 

The rain that poured early that morning made the mountain’s ground muddy and slippery. The pathways were too narrow we had to walk in one row. I had to hold on to the trees and plants along the way to keep my balance. Soon, our shoes and our hands were all covered in mud. I’ve also never sweated that much in my life, my face was literally dripping with perspiration.

I heard the soldiers muttering under their breath, probably thinking what they’ve gotten themselves into. We didn’t stop a beat, nobody seemed to want to. We were all driven by this goal to reach the marked spot.

I hardly had time appreciating the view because I was more focused on maintaining my footing. From time to time I’ve been hearing someone asking “Are we there yet?” or “How far along are we?” Even so, it was fairly obvious everyone was having fun. Even when we all looked and smelled like we could all use a bath, even when our hearts were pumping so loud I swear I could hear it, nobody looked liked they’d rather be anywhere else.

I was the only civilian employee who joined the activity and the soldiers seemed to have found my presence amusing. Some female soldiers told me that they drew inspiration from me. They thought that if I could climb the mountain, they sure as hell could too. So much for motivation eh?

It took us over 30 minutes to reach the spot and when we finally did, everybody started cheering. We found that we no longer need to do some digging, the DENR people had already made holes in the ground. The seedlings were placed beside each hole. I found a spot and for the first time in my life, I’ve planted a tree.

Finally, I got to plant a tree

I learned that we planted three kinds of trees; narra, mahogany, and tibig. Following Mrs. Mustapha’s instruction, I carefully tore the plastic bag to reveal the seedling. I lowered it inside the hole and covered it with soil. I never knew that such a simple act can make me feel real good inside. I remember feeling a great sense of accomplishment, like I’ve just won a big prize. It was amazing; in our own little way we were able to give back to nature.

About an hour later, after all seedlings had been planted, we made our long way back to the ground. The grounds had become much more slippery that going down presented a bigger challenge. So much so that I eventually lost my balance and found myself sitting on the muddy ground before I even knew what was happening. Now that’s what you call a moment.

The men and women of PSG who joined the tree-planting activity

Back on the ground we realized we hit two birds with one stone. Not only did we get to plant a tree, we also conquered a mountain. It was an adventure like no other and I’m glad to have been a part of it.  

Barbara's The Coffee Shop

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The bar

It was one of the cafes that I’d been meaning to visit. Barbara’s The Coffee Shop is nestled within the oldest district in Manila, Intramuros. You can find it inside Plaza San Luis Complex, across San Agustin Church. It is a sort of a spin-off of Barbara’s Restaurant which offers fine dining.

If there is anything that I love most about this place it’s the ambiance. It looked like it has been trapped in the Spanish area, with antique decors and furniture to complete the effect. This quaint little place tenders a very calm and rather romantic atmosphere, perfect for those who are looking for some alone time.

More tables and chairs outside

I visited the place with three of my closest friends when we went on a little tour around Intramuros. It was way past lunch time so we ordered food that would satisfy our already grumbling stomachs.

When we checked the menu we were pleased to see that the foods were easy on the budget. If my memory serves me right, it took about 15 or 20 minutes before they were able to serve the food, but we were so enthralled with the beauty of the place we didn’t mind waiting.

Now on to the food, we started with the salads: the Mesclun Greens with Raspberry Vanaigrette (Php 175) and Barbara’s Special with Lychee Vinaigrette (Php 185), both were okay and hardly tasted different from one another. For our meal we had Adobo Rice with Fried Egg Topping (Php 85) and Tapa with Rice and Fried Egg (Php 135). Both were okay but I had a hard time appreciating the tapa because it tasted too sweet.

We also had Seafood Pasta in Olive Oil (Php 175) which I found to be a tad too salty; Clubhouse Sandwich, a real winner; and Pizza Gorgonzola (Php 135), which sad to say is a total letdown.

The real disappointment though was the coffee. Neither the Cappuccino (Php 75) nor the Iced Coffee (Php 60) is good enough to be recommended. It wouldn’t be an exaggeration to say that instant coffees were much better than what we had at Barbara’s. I wonder if it has anything to do with the value; maybe a case of a sacrificed quality in exchange for inexpensive price. Go figure.

I might have gotten a bit disappointed with the food, (guess my expectations were a little too high) but I’d still recommend the place if only for its redeeming quality; the ambiance. Barbara’s The Coffee Shop is still worth visiting and I suggest that you do if you happen to go to Intramuros. For what it’s worth, it still made our Intramuros trip memorable. 


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Barbara's The Coffee Shop
Plaza San Luis Complex,
Gen. Luna corner Urdaneta St.
Intramuros, Manila
Tel nos: (02) 527-4086 / 527-4083

What's Inside My Bag

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I read in a magazine before that men fear women’s true BFF. I mean neither diamonds nor the go-to person but this thing that any self-respecting woman couldn’t live without: Bag. I find the notion quite funny but I couldn’t really blame them. We women have special needs, lots of them actually. Aside from the basics like identification, phone, and money, our bags contain other things that we find equally important like our can’t-live-without-kikay-kit. Yes, we are indeed the more complex gender but hey,  give us a break. A girl’s gotta live! And no it wouldn’t be an exaggeration to say that I couldn’t breathe without my bag because everything I need to get through this life is in it.

So, mind joining me in this little journey inside my bag? Hush, don’t be such a baby, there’s nothing in there that would bite you. Pinky swear!

First, the gadgets which include the wires, the portables, and the ringing kinds. Here’s what I got:

Flash Disk – For saving my e-files.
Solar charger – For charging my phones in case I’ve forgotten to bring my chargers or if I happen to be in a place that does not offer free use of electricity.  
USB Cables – For file transfer: music, pictures, videos, etc.
Mobile phone chargers – To juice up my phones.
Headset – For listening to music and wireless phone call.
Flashlight – Mainly for illuminating the dark streets and narrow pathways that I have to pass through to get me home.
Mobiles Phones – For communication: gossiping with friends, listening and sharing boy problems, reporting to the boss, setting a date, alarming the clock, picture taking, receiving a call, etc.

Second group, the kikay kit for grooming purposes:

Mineral Powder – For solving the uneven skin tone and oily face problems.
Lip Gloss – For solving my chapped or dry lips moments.
Matte Lip Color – To complete a formal and clean look.
Pale Lipstick – To achieve a simple look.
Red Lipstick – For a sultrier look.
Mascara – For a more beautiful and flirty set of peepers.
Cheek stain – For a blush that would keep me from looking like a walking dead.
Comb – For solving the “mahangin ba sa labas” problem.
Tweezers – For grooming those arches.
Eyebrow Pencil – For more defined eyebrows.
Cologne – To keep me smelling fresh all day.
Perfume – To smell good for special occasions.
Alcohol – For disinfecting purposes.
Sunblock – For protecting my skin from the harmful rays of the sun.
Tissue – For hygienic purposes.
Mirror – For checking if I still look like a human being.

Third batch is composed of the can’t-leave-home things:

Ascorbic Acid – Gotta take my Vit C.
Keys & Nail Cutter – Keys that unlock my secret and nail cutter for keeping my nails in shape.  
Pen – For memory assistance, to jot down the things that I need to remember like the number of that hot guy across the room or the poem that suddenly sprung in my head.
Wallet – For keeping my money or for maintaining the illusion that I have some.
Umbrella – To give me shade when I’m out in the sun and for keeping me from taking a shower under a pouring rain.
Dark Eyeglasses – For protecting my peepers from the sun.
Multicoated Glasses – So I could stare in the computer for long without seeing double.
ID – So the guards of PSG wouldn’t stop me from entering the gates (not in the picture).

That’s it. See, there is nothing to be scared about. Every thing in a woman’s bag is meant to solve her problems. What may seem worthless to other people especially with men is the very thing that helps women like me be comfortable every time we leave home, or be confident whenever we go out and face the world.

To all the men out there, don’t hate the bag. That little thing you're so scared of is every woman's life line. It makes them pretty, safe, and reliable.  

To all the girls, well… what’s in your bag?

New Bombay

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I remember thinking it was time to go beyond Taj Mahal, Sushmita Sen, and 5-6. I wanted to learn a little bit more about India particularly their food. In November 2009, I asked some of my friends to join me in my little mission to be acquainted with Indian cuisine. We went to Makati and had dinner in this Indian restaurant called “New Bombay.”

Samosas

The restaurant is located at the ground floor of Columns Condominium. The interiors are simple, white walls, high ceiling, dark stained wooden tables and chairs, no flamboyant designs or decors that are distinctly Indian.

My ignorance for Indian cuisine got me real confused when I read the menu. The foods were presented in Indian names making it real hard for me to determine which one to order. So I let my companions take care of it; they ordered fish biryani, mutton biryani, and chicken biryani.

Upon hearing our orders, the waitress seemed to realize we didn't know what were doing. She gave us an are-you-sure-look and informed us that all we ever ordered were rice meals. Since we were more worried about our budget, we didn't think it was a big deal. Of course we were wrong. We ended up eating three kinds of rice meals with no other viands to kill the monotony.

While waiting we were first served chicken and mutton soup. Both tasted real good. About 30 minutes later, they served the “biryanis,” which I realized are rice-based meals with bits of meat and different spices. The first thing I noticed about it is the color; they vary depending on the flavor. Mutton biryani (Php 200) for one is of deep orange. It has chunks of mutton (lamb) that are so tender and tasty. It was really spicy but still edible. Surprisingly I found myself enjoying it, it was real good.

Mutton Soup

The chicken biryani (Php 195) is of light orange color. If it weren't for the chicken strips you could easily mistake it for mutton biryani. Not only did they look similar, they also tasted the same. This one though is spicier.   

My least favorite was the green-colored hemorrhoids-inducing, fish biryani (Php 195). Man, this one was incredibly hot, the kind that could literally bring tears to your eyes. Don’t get me wrong it tasted good, but it’s hard for me to appreciate something when my skin gets clammy and my lips start swelling. They say Indian foods are hot; now I know they weren’t kidding.

For drinks we had dry fruit lassi (P120), the Indian version of yoghurt fruit shakes. The mango lassi is sweet with salty aftertaste. Strawberry lassi is the best tasting one, with just the right amount of sweetness without a weird aftertaste. Interestingly they offer rose flavored lassi. It tasted like lychee only stronger.     

Clockwise: Chicken Biryani, Fish Biryani, Mutton Biryani, Mango & Rose Lassi 

Out of curiosity I ordered chapati (Php 25), an Indian flatbread. Chapati they say goes well with most Indian dishes. We also had samosas (Php 95), a 4-piece fried, triangular-shaped pastry shell with fillings, served with green colored sauce called chutney. My friend found it dry, I on the other hand found it amazing.

For everything we only paid Php 1,400 which I think is reasonable. Their food is good, the ambiance is nice, and the place is accessible. The experience was well worth it. My expectation was met; Indian food is hot, literally and figuratively.    

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New Bombay
Tower 1 G/F The Columns,
6821 Ayala Ave, Corner Gil Puyat
Brgy. Bel-Air
Makati City
Tel no.: (02) 901-3275
Business Hours: Monday - Sunday 10:00 a.m. - 11:30 p.m.

SMB Oktoberfest 2010

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Beer has got to be one of the most terrible things I’ve ever tasted in my life. It’s bad enough that it’s bitter but damn does it really have to leave that acrid aftertaste? So when someone asks me if I want a beer I always say, “No thanks… I’ll pass.” Surprisingly I’ve never met anyone who shared my opinion. Heck, Wikipedia even named it as “the world’s most widely-consumed alcoholic beverage.”

My dislike for beer was enough to discourage me from attending the local celebration of Oktoberfest, a 16-day beer festival that originated in Munic, Germany. In the Philippines, Oktoberfest is a nationwide event, usually organized by the San Miguel Beer Corporation and Asia Brewery.
This year, though I changed my mind. Notwithstanding my indifference to beer, I joined my friends, Ana and Tina, at the SMB’s Oktoberfest kick-off party at the Mall of Asia Concert Grounds on September 10, 2010 (Friday). Surprise, surprise, I had a good time.

The balloon effigies

Thanks to Ana, we had easy access. We were each given a hospital err… wrists tag and stayed in the tent reserved for the media. We also received stubs that entitled us to a meal and four bottles of beer. I have yet to taste a beer that could change my mind, for now though, all my beer stubs made one person happy; Tina.


The event had a gimmick that I found real interesting; the 11 audio-visual presentations projected on Microtel Mall of Asia building. There they showed SMB’s beer products such as the San Miguel Pale Pilsen, San Mig Light, Red Horse Beer, Gold Eagle Beer, San Mig Premium All-Malt, San Miguel Super Dry, Cerveza Negra, and San Mig Strong Ice. It was a total visual feast made more lovely by the fireworks.  


What made the night memorable for me were the great performances by The Dawn, Gloc 9, Kitty Girls, Mocha Girls, The Bloom Brothers, Slapshock, Freestyle, Sponge Cola, Mayonnaise, Parokya Ni Edgar, Maneuvers, and the Philippine All Star Dancers. 

Slapshock takes the stage

Now, a little review on some of these performances. I’m not what you would call a concert person, mainly because I could hardly afford the ticket price. In those few moments that I get to see one, I am always blown away by the experience.  

If there is any band which I believe turned up the vibe, it’s the Freestyle. I was in awe when I heard the voice of their lead vocalist, Jinky Vidal. Even with all the jumping and dancing that she had been doing onstage, the quality of her voice remained. And man she could certainly hit those high notes effortlessly. I liked their rendition of Alicia Keys’ song “New York” where they changed the lyrics to Filipino to impart a message of patriotism. What do you say, a band with a purpose.

It's me with the Philippine All Star Dancers 

Nobody worked the stage as good as the Philippine All Star Dancers (PASD). To say that we were impressed would be an understatement. Watching them made me want to enroll in a dance school so that I could learn all those fabulous moves. It is no wonder they won the World Hiphop Dance Championships twice, first in 2006 then in 2008. Tina and I were so star struck; we followed the group to the back stage as soon as they finished their routine. Even when they were all sweaty and tired, they were very gracious when we asked for a photo op.

Hobbit Moment: It's me with the San Miguel Beermen 

Temperature rose when the Kitty Girls (KG) took the stage. If watching PASD made me want to take dance lessons, KG’s Jocelyn Oxlade made me want to undergo plastic surgery. Yes, that’s how pretty she is. As expected, men had the time of their lives upon watching the girls. There was no mistaking the delight on their faces. They hooted, cheered, and screamed for more. KG did not disappoint; they performed with high energy and enthusiasm.

But the best performance of the night, in my opinion was the one by Rap/Metal band, Slapshock. The crowd grew dense, people got louder, and I could have sworn the earth moved beneath us. Hearing their music live is so much cooler than listening to a record. It was so raw it felt like Jamir Garcia, the band’s front man was singing inside my head.

 

Tina and I with the Mocha Girls 

Aside from the live performances, I also enjoyed the backstage access (a lot!). The life behind the stage is just as colorful what’s with all the celebrities who were running about the place. I’m not the type who stalks or runs after celebrities just to take their pictures but on this night I made an exception. Besides this time they were everywhere, thus no chasing needed. I had pictures with the very pretty, Sam Pinto; the men who made me feel like a hobbit, the San Miguel Beermen PBA Cagers; my new dance idols, PASD; my ultimate rock fantasy, Slapshock’s frontman, Jamir; and the gorgeous trio, Mocha Girls.

Beer lover or not, I totally dig SMB’s Oktoberfest celebration. The place overflew with beer and I noticed that people looked happy guzzling their beer. Again it made me wonder what have I been missing. Hmm… Beer is an acquired taste, maybe I shouldn’t give up on it yet.  

My Brother, Charles

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My brother, Charles

Now let me tell you a story, about my brother, Charles. I still remember everything like it just happened yesterday. 

In 2006 I remember Charles complaining about these headaches that wouldn't go away. I told him to ask Mama to get him to a doctor for a consultation. I knew that I could and should have taken him instead but I didn't. Stupid me, I didn't view it as something serious. It's probably the reason why I have always felt a little responsible for what happened in the year that followed.

In 2007 his headaches became more severe and frequent that his health began to deteriorate. He could hardly eat, always had fever particularly in the afternoon, and he had gotten so weak he started missing his classes. Soon, he had been diagnosed with TB Meningitis, one that targets the brain. Our sister, Vanie didn't have a decent work then and I only earned P8,500 per month. How I managed to buy his medicines, which were by the way cost me an arm and a leg, while paying the bills in our house is beyond me. All I  knew then is that I had to take care of it. I wanted to save my brother.

I had to make sacrifices of course, including my personal needs. I had to cut back on certain things that single women should be enjoying like shopping, gimmicks, travel, food, etc. The most that I could buy for myself were for my personal hygiene. I had no choice, I had to spend a lot for Charles's medication. Several times he was confined at San Lazaro Hospital. I would come by for a visit and every time I do, I get my heart broken. I tell you there is nothing more painful than to see your loved one suffering. The pain it gave me was so thick it was almost tangible.

There was this one time when I came for a visit and had the shock of my life. I saw my brother with his arms and legs tied down on the sides of the bed. Mama said that Charles just had a seizure, so severe they couldn't control him. They had to tie him down to prevent him from hurting himself. As she told me this, Mama fought hard to keep her tears from falling; I couldn't hold back mine. When I stared back at my brother's eyes and saw just how much he was hurting that did it for me. I sobbed like never before in my life. 

Charles was the fourth child and the one who broke the all-female cycle in the family. Papa had always wanted to have a son thus, his birth was a dream come true. Needless to say, Charles was our father's pet, he adored him like no other. He was the only one in our family who had the most number of pictures, godparents, and toys and every year we had a party for his birthday.

Charles liked to play. He mastered every game there is, from the family computer, Gameboy, Game Gear, to the Playstation. He was also the artist of the family. At 3 years old, Charles turned the walls of our house into a big canvass, drawing images that looked too good to have been made by someone his age. I knew then he had potential and as he grew older he had gotten better. He could draw more complicated things, like portraits, landscapes, or any of his favorite anime characters. He did them all with ease, hardly using an eraser. Soon people took notice of his gift and started seeking his help for their school projects or homeworks. He gladly helped them all, without even asking anything in return.

My gift of music and my love for the English language, Charles inherited. Like me he wasn't good with numbers, but he sure knew and loved English the way I did. Charles was always happy and it was never hard to please him. I knew he could have gone a long way, if only he didn't have to leave soon.

Weeks before he passed, we watched how quickly his health deteriorated. He had to wear diapers because he no longer had control of his bladder, he couldn't finish his food, couldn't get up from the bed on his own, and he was always quiet 'cause talking alone took so much effort. 

In 2007, on the night of October 31st, he complained that he couldn't pee and that it was hurting him. He didn't want to go to the hospital but I knew I had to take action. When I told him he really needed to see a doctor he no longer refused. 

We rushed him to San Lazaro Hospital in the middle of the night. I remember  the darkness, the street lights, and the barren roads. I remember liking the unknown song that was playing inside the cab. I remember keeping my fear at bay, convincing myself that everything will be fine. 

In the hospital, people seemed to be always taking their time. We had to wait to be attended by one of the staff, we waited before we were given a wheelchair, we waited as they deliberated which part of the hospital my brother should go, we waited to be attended by the doctor, we waited for the result of the medical tests, and we waited to hear the doctor's decision. I don't know how I  managed to stay awake when my body was just about to give in from exhaustion. I longed for the comforts of my bed, wanting so bad to sleep it all off. But I hang on and kept these thoughts to myself. Indeed, it was the longest night of my life and to this day I'm not quite sure how I got through it.  

It wasn't until 6:00 in the morning that the doctor decided to confine my brother for further observation. At 8:00 a.m. he was transferred from the ER to ICU. The look on the faces of the people at the ICU was more than I could bear. It was like they were wise to me over something that I couldn't or wouldn't see. 

Had I known that it was his last day I wouldn't have gone home to catch some zzs. It is one of the biggest regrets of my life. I was in denial that Charles was leaving us; I honestly didn't see it coming.

That afternoon I returned to the hospital and had my heart broken. The look on Tita Blanca's face gave it all away. I knew even before I reached Charles's room that something went terribly wrong. When I got there I saw the doctors and nurses surrounding my brother's bed, trying their damnedest to revive him. My heart was gripped in terror. I remember praying like I never did before and made all kinds of bargaining with the Lord just so he would spare my brother's life. 

I hoped, prayed, cried, and waited. Finally, the doctors started backing away from the bed with a look of regret on their faces. Slowly, I approached his bed, held his hand, and saw traces of tears on his cheeks. Then it hit me; the boy I took care of when he was just a baby, the one who loved Aerosmith, the one who used to call me "Ate" (big sister) was gone. Anguish sets in; the pain was so great it knocked the air out of me.

It made me realize how inconsiderate and disrespectful death is. It doesn't care about your age, status in life, or how nice you have been to your neighbors. It doesn't care if you still have dreams that you want to pursue, if you're in love with someone, or if you are yet to finish school. When it comes, you're done, that's it... no stop button, no pause, no rewind.

Charles's death reminded me of my own mortality and in the process, forced me to appreciate life. In his short time on earth, Charles lived his life the best way he knew. He made lots of friends, had big dreams, and found happiness even in the littlest of things. Indeed he had so much gratefulness in his heart and never stopped dreaming. Yes, even when he was terribly sick he always asked me if he could take up Fine Arts in college. I always answered "yes."